Guest Editorial: Parody Hot News on Forest City Casino

Lim Teck Ghee

This conversation was overheard at Kopitiam Malaysia Boleh. Our usual suspects - the Four As (Ali, Anand, Ah Beng and Adrian) - were having their regular chat

Ali: Hey Adrian. Selamat kembali from Kuching. Why such a long time no see, man?

Adrian: Aiyah. Fares gone up again. I tell you - we are getting fed up being screwed left and right

Anand: Good to have you back, bro. Yeah. Airfares have gone crazy. So also prices of everything. Don’t know if you guys have read that the country’s happiness ranking has dropped. Frankly I don’t trust these orang putih polls. But yeah, we used to be a much happier country

Heard that you Bumis in Sabah and Sarawak are even more unhappy and may soon call yourselves Dayaks! I remember not so long ago some of your leaders called for your communities there to be called “Momogun”!

Adrian: Momogun! Son of a gun! Whatever we call ourselves doesn't make any difference. It’s all your Semenanjung doing which is killing us.

Ah Beng: Come on lah Adrian. We are really one nation. Suffering here also, okay

Adrian: Alright. Agree but don’t push us too much. This maaf - forgive and forget mindset - has to change or we will never get justice

Ali: Talking of justice. Have you been following the latest Forest City juicy story. Bloomberg leaked the news that FC may get a casino licence.

Ah Beng: Yeah. I read too. I heard that the Singaporeans and Indonesians got very excited over this. I tell you if that happens, JB will be a boom city! A little bird told me that this story has been put out as a trial balloon

Anand: No way man. PMX has already denied and don’t play play on this. Whoever is pushing the casino story is going to get into big shit

Ali: Well. They may try to gag the critics but it’s all over social media. How to charge everyone in court? Some authorities are just too much

Adrian: Agree. And there’s also not enough space in our jails

Ah Beng:  Exactly. That’s why Najib is being put under house arrest!

Lots of laughter

Anand: Actually we are a country of gamblers. No need for casinos. We have 4D, 3D, even 2D.

Ah Beng: Toto is my wife’s preferred.  You know someone won RM95 million some years ago

Adrian: Wow, news to me. But sorrylah, gambling is a sin, my friend! No way for me. Just the sock, I mean stock, market is good enough for gambling!

Ali: Hahaha. Me too: No gambling. Although not a major sin, as a minor one, it’s still not permissible in Islam.

Ah Beng: Why Li? Can you explain

Ali: Well - according to legal authorities it is characterised as ” maysir”. This means speculation or gambling. Maisir is prohibited in Islamic finance because it creates wealth from chance instead of productive activity.

Anand: Okay. I think all or perhaps most religions frown on gambling. Includes Hinduism in case you are not aware.

Ah Beng: Yeah, okay. To each his own I say.

Adrian: Amen. But you know, not so long ago, during Dr. M’s time, our financial wizards in Bank Negara gambled on the forex exchange and lost so much it nearly bankrupted the country.

Ali: Aiyah! That’s news to me. When did this happen? Who was involved?

Anand: I remember now. But not so well.  There was a Royal Commission of Inquiry held.

Ah Beng: Yes. I remember better now, Anand. Although the forex gambling took place during his time and was the largest financial scandal ever, Dr. M managed to keep it secret. But Najib as PM got an RCI going on it during his time

Ali: So what happened with the RCI report, Beng?

Ah Beng: I think the report found that Dr. M was in part responsible for the loss of over RM30 billion.

Ali: Wow. So much. I didn’t know that he was a big time gambler.  

Adrian: Only with the country’s money lah. He is reputed to be very frugal. I think he said that he doesn’t need to enrich himself as he is already rich after he became Minister. Some people say that he is very kedukut

Anyway, the funny thing is that the RCI concluded with the recommendation of NFA. Can you believe it - NFA! That was recently brought up by Najib when he complained against the conviction over the RM42 million SRC International case. .

Ah Beng: NFA - what does that stand for?

Ali: No further action man. Not no farting around!

Laughter all round

Anand: No farting again? I tell you  - our leadership stinks! We really have been let down again and again

Ali: Agree. Hey, how about this as our chat subject when we next meet? Who is a worse PM for Malaysia - Najib or Mahathir? Or who mismanaged our nation’s money worse?

Ah Beng: How about Anwar?

Adrian: Aiyah. Cannot yet include him. Got to give him some time!  But hey, who’s going to win in KKB?

Ah Beng: Close fight man. Tell you what. We place our bet on who will be the winner and the margin. And the loser belanja the rest with curry laksa

Ali: Boleh! Count me in. I like my curry laksa especially if free.

The rest: Setuju!

LIM TECK GHEE

Lim Teck Ghee, ANU PhD graduate, is a Malaysian economic historian and policy analyst. He has a regular column, Another Take, in The Sun, a Malaysian daily and Oriental Daily; and is the author of Challenging the Status Quo in Malaysia, and Dark Forces Changing Malaysia (with Murray Hunter).

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