Guest Editorial: Parody KKB: The Morning After

Lim Teck Ghee

: Our 4 good friends meet at Kopitiam Malaysia to discuss the KKB by election result

Adrian: So gang, here is the result of our election contest

Biggest winner: Ali Biggest loser: Anand

Second place: myself

Third Place: Ah Seng

Ali (laughing): You know, all the high powered analysts I was reading were predicting an upset or at best a narrow victory for Pakatan.

Ah Beng: Yahlah. I also read. Luckily I hedged my bet otherwise I have to belanja today. I heard the Chinese voters will not come out; that they were pissed off with DAP; that they wanted to teach Pakatan a lesson. Boy - these so-called sifu were wrong this time

Anand: Aiyah!. I got caught even worse. So much in the media from not only the cyber troopers and instant experts but from former Indian politicians and analysts. Not only did they say that the Indian vote would definitely be against Pakatan. Some even said that the Indians could become the kingmakers in the election. They also called on Indian voters to show to PMX and the unity government not to take the Indian vote for granted.

Adrian: I also read the figure that India voters were 20% of the registered voters. In fact, not only the Indian analysts were saying that. But also the Malay think tank analysts and even former Chinese politicians. One of them claimed that Pakatan would win by less than 1,000 votes. Others said that the Indians have become “emotional” voters and that this was for good reason.

Ali: Frankly, politicians who have left their party for whatever reason don’t need to give their two cents worth because everyone knows that they have their own agenda and are simply looking for publicity. You know, within my other chat group, we were wondering how PMX would take up the KKB challenge. Some were expecting him to turun padang and whack the opposition. But the one I most respect in the group, Pak Man, said: PMX has got bigger ikan to goreng. No need for him to be seen as desperate and fighting hard in a by election. Whatever the result won’t make any difference really either to him, to Pakatan. Man is absolutely right

Adrian: Agree too. You know, there’s a saying. Money talks, bullshit walks. That’s mainly why Pakatan won

Everone else: Big laugh.

Ali: Okay. But you guys need to be reminded that the civil service share of voters in the country is the real gamechanger, okay.

Ah Beng: Yeah. I was monitoring the early results and it was very clear that the police and army votes were mostly going to Pakatan Anand: Actually, it is not only policy and army staff. If you include teachers, healthcare,all the ministries, maybe close to 2 million civil servants and 80 percent at least are Bumi. We Indian voters are outnumbered! 2 million vs less than a million of us

Ali: Come on Anand. PMX has said that he will take care of everyone, okay. Give him a chance and some time. Anand: Same old, same old line. So Ali, what do you think will happen next? Ali: Some say that the tide has turned for Pakatan. Others say that it is too early to say anything, really. Remember in 2018, the late opposition charge upset BN. Ah Beng: Yes. GE 2028 is a long way off. I am sure PMX has not only elections on his mind but also much more. I hear that one of his favourite Chinese quotes is that a tiger dies and leaves behind his skin.

Adrian: Wow… so what? Snakes also die and leave behind their spin. Some say that PMX is a political chameleon!

Ah Beng: Hey; haven’t finished yet

Anand: What then?

Ah Beng: The Chinese proverb goes like this. A tiger dies and leaves behind his skin; a person dies and leave behind his name Ali: Wow! Wow! That’s a really good one for all of us. Adrian: Agree. Anand; today you treat us, okay. But better luck next time

Ali: You know, we are really lucky here. Our problems are nothing compared with what is happening in Gaza.

Ah Beng: Yes, and you know what, Malaysia is going to be sanctioned for the country’s position on the Palestinians and Israel.

Adrian: Okay guys? The topic of our next is where do we Malaysians stand on this issue, especially since the Americans are coming after us.

I will belanja everyone for the next round. But we should all in the meantime contribute to any Palestinian fund or effort

All: Setuju

LIM TECK GHEE

Lim Teck Ghee, ANU PhD graduate, is a Malaysian economic historian and policy analyst. He has a regular column, Another Take, in The Sun, a Malaysian daily and Oriental Daily; and is the author of Challenging the Status Quo in Malaysia, and Dark Forces Changing Malaysia (with Murray Hunter).

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