Malaysia’s rich music culture part 5: Ning Baizura opening up sexual expression
Culture as identity
Ning Baizura was a very successful Malaysian pop and R&B singer during the 1990’s and 2000’s. She recorded albums in Bahasa Malaysia, and English. She was known for her live performances and wide repertoire of music. She also played roles in a number of local films. She was controversial in some of the costumes she wore. However, perhaps retrospectively, her greatest contribution to Malay society was opening up some issues about sexuality.
Ning’s 2014 song Bukan Wanita Sempurna (Not a Perfect Woman) tackled the issue of a wife dealing with a gay husband, and trying to gain his love and affection. This deals with a serious issue in Malay society, where some Malay men are forced to marry to conceal, they are gay. From this point of view the couple are victims to Malay cultural taboos.
Perhaps Ning’s major contribution to Malay openness on sexuality was her ‘tell all’ interview in the July 2000 issue of FHM (For Him Magazine). She made a number of sexual revelations that she prefers to wear a G-string to underwear, likes sex in the morning, and about her personal fantasy.
FHM: ‘What’s your biggest fantasy?’
Ning: “I know it will never happen but it involves five guys and me, all at one time.”
The comment could have been cheeky and mischievous for a magazine like FHM, but wasn’t too far away from the concealed behaviour of those involved in KL highlife at the time.
More of Ning’s FHM interview:
FHM: If the voice is the first thing that attracts you to a man, what's the second?
Ning: The voice and the brain are first. Second is sexual appeal. I have to be sexually attracted to him and I usually know that straightaway. I get frustrated because when I go out at night in KL, I know the men there are undressing me with their eyes the minute I walk in the room. I hate that the most. I want male attention but I want them to look at me as a woman, not just as an object of sexual desire.
FHM: Are gay clubs a refuge for you?
Ning: They're comfortable, because I don't get hassled. Sometimes I get offers from lesbians, which is a complete honour. I find it weird when a gay men proposition me under the pretence of being bisexual. I always tell these guys that they're dreaming and should wake up and face reality. In Paris I met this really good looking guy whom I thought was attracted to me-I didn't think he was gay at all. We had such a great time going around Paris during the day. Then towards evening he told me how much he loved my dress, my shoes and my bag. After that I knew the sad truth straight away.
FHM: You have a notorious birthmark, right?
Ning: Yes! It's on the top of my right breast. It looks a bit like a small eyebrow. Strangely enough, it's quite s turn-on! When I was younger I thought it was irritating, but now I find it important to my identity. I've really grown to like it.
FHM: Would you make the first move to get your man?
Ning: I've always got to be in control of those situations. The first few times I meet a man, I must be the one to instigate the action. I'm quite selfish and I'm very independent. I want to be the master first. Later on I'll play the slave. for the most part, though, I want to be the master all of the time.
FHM: Sounds kinky...
Ning: I'd love to play games! I'm very playfull. I find the ideas of blindfolds and doing stuff with candles, wax, ice and whipped-cream quite erotic. I don't believe in quickies-most women don't, because they won't feel fully satisfied. Foreplay should last at least an hour, preferably more.
FHM: You wouldn't hop in the elevator for a quick two-minute session?
Ning: I might consider it. But a quickie should always be followed by a much longer session later that night. A quickie is only a taste of things yet to come. I think I'd be a difficult woman to satisfy! It's not always that easy for women when they first meet a man. But when a man and a woman are comfortable with each other, things happen quite easily! I'm sure I'd be like a pipe bursting! A water fountain of pleasure!
FHM: Do you think many men can hold up to your high standards?
Ning: Only 21-year old guys would have that kind of stamina! Older men would have to be patient and wait for Nature to take its course, I would think.
FHM: When would a tryst appeal? In mornings or the evenings?
Ning: Actually, I would prefer mornings. I usually finish up with my shows late at night, and after supper, I don't often make it home until early in the morning.
FHM: Maybe advertising guys would be best then. they usually don't work mornings.
Ning: Yes, I've dated a few advertising guys-those on the creative side-and I've dated an engineer. I think men love their careers. Creative guys do it more creatively. Engineering guys do it structurally. I think a man's job would be a better gaugeof his bedroom abilitiesthan any factor-race, age or anything else. Having said that, I must admit I find Spanish men especially sexy.
FHM: Is it their Latin charm?
Ning: No, it's their arses. Spanish men have the nicest, tightest butts.
FHM: How do Malaysian men as compared to European men?
Ning: To be quite honest, I've never dated a European guys so I wouldn't really know how to answer this question. From what I've observed, Malaysian men tend to take care of their women better though. I'm all for equality, but I like being taken care off. I'm just like any other Asian woman in that respect.
FHM: We used to know this account executive guy who collected each and every picture of you that he could get hold of. Do you think it's weird when strange men obsess over you sexually?
Ning: Not at all. Back when I was a bit younger I thought that these guys were all perverts, but lately I feel differently about them. Now I'm completely proud of the fact that I can excite them with just a picture. I see that as a sign of my sexuality and power as a woman.
FHM: Do you think you'll make a good wife?
Ning: I could be a wife in the future, but that's a long way off. I can't see myself with a child, not yet anyway. I don't think I could bear the idea of being responsible for another human being. I think kids are cute and all but I can't possibly imagine myself taking care of one-not at this time anyway.
FHM: What's the best part about being single?
Ning: I'm in complete control of every situation and I get flirt more and not feel guilty. Basically, I'm able to keep all of my options open. I get to play more roles because I'm single- a singer, a schoolgirl or whatever I want to do on any other given day.
FHM: Role playing? Do you keep your old schoolgirl outfits around?
Ning: No, I've got new ones! Haha! A few of them, actually. All I'm going to say about role-playing is this: I wouldn't mind having a few costumes in my wardrobe. But I won't discuss anything else about that! That's my little secret!
FHM: Would it be difficult finding men in Malaysia who are adventurous?
Ning: Yes. People in Malaysia are not as exposed to these types of things so you don't find too many men keen on this sort of situation. Most of the men I date probably think I'm quite mad, but I can tell you one thing for sure-they always go home extremely happy!
FHM: You've told us how much you enjoy flirting. How and when does a man know he has the green light to take things further with you?
Ning: I'm a straightforward person so I'll tell him when I'm into that. Because I'm so honest about things like this. I naturally find this type of honesty attractive men as well. I think the best pick-up line I've ever heard was from this one guys who had been staring at me all night long. Finally I approached him and asked him why he was behaving like that. He then proceeded to tell me that I was 'the best looking girl in the room' and 'the only girl in the room that he found attractive' I was quite flattered by his honesty so I was honest right back to him. I asked him if he wanted to sleep with me and he said yes. I was impressed so I told him to stick around and we would see what happened.
FHM: He probably lost it right then and there. Have you seen him since?
Ning: I still see him out sometimes at night, and I'm still intrigued, but nothing's happened yet. He's two years younger than me and I find that interesting Usually I date men that are at least my age if not a bit older. I think the older man would definitely have more in the experience stakes than the younger man. What they lose in stamina, I think they'd make up with skill!
FHM: This 'younger' guy is Malaysian?
Ning: No, he's a Mat Salleh and to tell you the truth, I've never quite been attracted to white guys. I've always fancied darker men-Malaysian men.
FHM: You don't mind it when men chat you up?
Ning: Not at all, in fact I enjoy it. There's nothing wrong with trying and the more creative guys are, the better!
FHM: If they were awarding 'Best Body Parts in Malaysia', what would you be sure to win?
Ning: Isn't that an obvious question? I'd win the Best Butt award! Maybe my lips might win as well. A lot of men like lips they can really get a hold of! Men have told me that they find my lips sultry.
FHM: What do you do to take care of your butt?
Ning: I never cover it up! I only wear g-strings, so there's never a panty line. A g-string makes me feel very sexy. In fact, that's the only kind of panty I own.
Ning put what young Malay women think into the public domain.
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