Part 20: A first-hand account of life in detention in Singapore’s draconian ISA

A narrative about injustice: Keeping sane in solitary confinement

A continuation of Zulfikar’s account of life under Singapore’s ISA

After receiving the detention order, I met with ISD officers once or twice a week, usually for around 30 minutes each. My mother and brother visited me once a week, for 30 minutes.

For the rest of the time, I would be in solitary confinement. No one to speak with and nothing to do. I would read the Qur’an, zikr (religious chanting in remembrance and glorifying God) and talk to myself.

I met with the psychologists and RRG Ustadz once a month.

I spend my days standing at the door. I would look at my reflection in the mirror and talk to it as though I was speaking with a friend. I would talk about my conversations with the officers, reminisce about my life, tell jokes (which did not work since my reflection would laugh before I get to the punch line) or anything else that came to mind.

Talking to the two-way mirror allowed me to feel as though I was really having a conversation with someone else. It relieved some of the bottled-up emotions and help me past the time.

I would stand and speak with my reflection for hours. Everyday. Whenever I thought of something, I would get up and talk to my reflection.

I felt sorry for some of the Gurkha sentries. They had to check on us regularly and would lift the shutter on the other side to look into the cell. Sometimes, when they lifted the shutter and tried to peek in, they would see my face just inches from the mirror. A couple of them had let out yelps of shock.

About 3 weeks before the AB, Gurkha officers opened the food delivery vent on the door and said “cell inspection.” As usual, I had to face the wall as they entered the cell and patted me down. Two ISD prison officers then entered the cell.

The ISD officers told me that they were there to make sure I did not have anything that was not issued to me.

“Don’t try to be creative.” Nothing on the walls, nothing in the cell. Only what have been specifically issued to me.

“Do you have anything to declare?”

“I used a straw for the Qur’an bookmark.” The straw was taken away. I had also used threads from the blanket as my Qur’an book mark. They were removed. I had affixed a sticker from an apple onto the water jug. The sticker was taken too.

I had used the metal part of my Ventolin inhaler (which I was allowed to keep in the cell) to discreetly write my bank login number onto the wall. I wanted to tell the number to Shireen when she visited me in a couple of months and was worried if I would forget. The text was small and not visible unless someone knew to look for it. The officers did not.

As they were about to leave, I remembered the writing and told them.

The first thing I was asked was “have you given this number to your case officer?” Everything, from my e-banking login and password, email password, Facebook password had to be given to the ISD within the first couple of days. After the threat on my children, I gave most of these private information to the ISD.

Tim told me that they would shut down my Facebook account. “You are a virus. We don’t want others to read what you said.”

I understood that they did not want others to read what I said since it would contradict ISD’s accusations.

Chang, Tim and Ong regularly told me that they knew the answers to everything they asked me. “We just want to see if you will cooperate.”

I decided to test that claim. I had a few email accounts. I told them two. They did not know about the others.

But for my bank account login, I gave it to the ISD after their threats. A few days after the cell inspection, Gilbert came to my cell. I was told to sign a document. It was a warning letter. Writing on the wall was considered vandalism and I could be caned if I did it again. I washed it off with detergent.

Cell inspections were irregular initially. But after a couple of years, it was practically every week. They would go through everything in the cell, from the seams on the blankets to checking under my sandals. They would hit the metal grille that covered the air vent (to check if I hid anything behind the grille) and flush the toilet in case I hid anything in the bowl.

After my release, I read other detainees’ accounts of their detention. They described sleeping on old mattresses or wooden bed, writing and receiving letters weekly, they were allowed to put up family mementos on the wall. Other accounts referred to communal living, meeting other detainees, getting books or food from home.

Solitary confinements tended to be only for a few months.

ISD detention has become more harsh. There was no bed. I tended to get aches in my neck and requested a pillow from the beginning. I was finally given one 15 months later. Prior to that, I used a rolled-up blanket as a pillow.

Previous conditions seemed easier, especially during the British run Special Branch detentions.

Throughout my detention, I did not meet any other detainee. We were not even supposed to see or hear each other. If another detainee came to the same area I was in, I would be turned to face the wall (even with the hood over my head) until they left. A lot of times, after I have been cuffed, chained and blindfolded, the Gurkha officers would tell me to wait in the cell. There was a “traffic jam” because another detainee was being moved too.

For the first few months, apart from the Arabic Qur’an, there was no book to read. After 3 months, I was given one comic book a week. I would finish reading the comic book within a couple of hours and have nothing else to do for the whole week in the cell. I would spend time looking at the drawings.

I was finally given 2 books a week in January 2017, 6 months after I was detained. In May 2017, after repeated requests, they increased that to 3 books a week.

The cells were bare. Every cell was painted light green. Four fluorescent light tubes were kept turned on 24 hours a day.

It was fully bright even while I slept.

When Zulfikar was released and in quarantine in Adelaide, he made a number of videos recalling his time in detention. Here is one of his videos.

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